3/20/12 Tuesday Eve Prayer

Sort of a reflection on Jeremiah 31:31-34.

Dear God:

Here we are again. 

Me, praying.  You, listening. 

Somehow, this is enough.

(Most days,

anyhow.)

I know I am heard and I feel I am heard.  You are subtly present, then, and subtly loving, then, and subtly very, very real.

Yours is the love I cannot shake.  Yours is the love that stays. 

Love is your power. 

I get that, now.

Love is that, try-again power;

That, “it-will-be-OK” power;

That, “don’t-give-up” power. 

It is that “re-do” power.

It is not, however, that “undo” power.

(I wish it was.)

Promises broken…

Bad decisions…

Hurt caused…

All those things done and all those things left undone…

Ugh, I hate doing the wrong thing.  I really do.  It is on those days that this one thing seems like the one overwhelming thing that defines every thing and every moment and will define every thing and every moment. 

It feels like a hole

in my soul.

…

But, on those days...

….

I know I am heard and I feel I am heard.  You are subtly present, then, and subtly loving, then, and subtly very, very real.

Yours is the love I cannot shake.  Yours is the love that stays. 

Love is your power. 

I get that, now.

I used to doubt you more but, now, I neither have that kind of time

nor the inclination.

You are so much better for me than I am for myself, alone.

This love of yours…

Thank you, thank you, thank you…

Amen.