Tuesday Prayer for 2/23/16: On the other side.

Inspired by Luke 13:1-9

Dear God:

I know, first hand, the corrosive power of shame.
This is that demon on my shoulder that tempts me in to living my life as though
I am (secretly) unlovable if people knew I…
Or had been around when I…
Or would find out that I…

It is that voice of accumulative decimation that seeks to more than balance out
The joy of any good I might do with whispers of
Corroded implications of motivation and
A withering look that makes me
Question my
Worth and
(On more than one occasion)
Has almost taken (the good of) my life away.

This demon points to these things and offers to protect me from them
by
Standing between me and them
and
Suggesting I am too weak to approach them
and
That they just might kill me
If I do.

God, please remind me what I already have been told by those who know better:
That those things that may make me
uncomfortable
are not always those things that make me
unsafe;
That these things are more likely to kill me when I avoid them;
That these things become stronger when I feed them my shame;
That sometimes I need to lift up some of these things and love them, first;
That some of these things are too heavy for me to lift alone;
That these are things I no longer need to live with;

That I can leave this place.

That on the exit door is enthusiastically scrawled one, joy offering word:

“Repent”

Amen.