Love is Love

(This open letter is written to the students of Eastside Catholic in support of their protests against the dismissal of their principal Mark Zmuda for marrying his partner over the summer.  Here's the link to the intial story: Eastside Catholic students rally around ousted vice principal )

Dear sisters and brothers at Eastside Catholic:

Thank you.

Thank you for your faithful, loving witness on behalf of both your principles and your principal.  Thank you for the risks you are taking with those beautiful smiles on your faces.  Thank you for the truth you are telling with chants, writing and song.  You are all amazing.

There are many of us on this spectrum of Christianity that agree with you and are excited about and supportive of your call to reinstate your newly married principal to his position.  Your call for justice and fairness is echoing far beyond the halls of your school and filling many of our hearts with joy, hope and excitement.  Again, thank you.

Bishop Sartain is a good person and fulfilling the commitments of his position.  I both mourn this action and understand that it is consistent with what what some believe.  However, doesn't mean we should ever just settle in to our different positions with a shrug of our shoulders.  We are entrusted by God with the obligation to disagree with each other in ways that are loving, persistent and graceful.  I'm convinced that, somewhere in our journey of struggle and honesty, we create a path that makes way for truth.  It is our shared and sacred responsibility as children of God to speak up when we see injustice; to march forward with the hope our leaders will soon follow; and to celebrate love at all times as well as in all the ways it binds people together.

Love is love.  God is love.  Thank you for teaching us more about love's wide embrace.

God bless you all.

Peace.

Mike

The Rev. Michael Denton

Conference Minister of

The Pacific Northwest Conference of

The United Church of Christ

Blog post: PNCUCC News column on church conflict...

(This article is in the most recent issue of the PNCUCC News.  Check it out!  Since it invites feedback, I'm publishing it here, too.)

As you can imagine, a good bit of my time is spent learning about churches in conflicts of one sort or another.  I've been involved in regional  church work for about 10 years now, and - for better and for worse - this means I've seen, heard or been involved in a pretty wide spectrum of what church conflicts can be.  

Church conflicts are not getting easier.  Church conflicts have never been simple because of the personal nature of faith, traditions and the sense of ownership many have about their churches but in the last 10 year I've been doing this work church conflicts have become meaner and more entrenched (and, as I mentioned in a previous article, one of the primary reasons people are distancing themselves from churches).  The style of church fights seem to be more and more influenced by the style of our political fights than any of the ideals laid out in the gospels or the epistles.  Instead of our churches seeking to model healthy conflict for the world, we seem to model more and more of our conflicts after the most dysfunctional, messy conflicts that are tearing the world apart.

We can do better.  We need to do better.  So, let me throw out five things that I think would help.

1. Get to know each other.  I know this might be self evident and most church communities think they're friendly but being friendly and knowing each other are not the same thing.  Many churches end up moving in to conflict because folks don't have the relational base to solve disagreements in better ways.  That time of coffee after church?  Committee meetings?  Volunteer opportunities?  Mission trips?  Retreats?  Faith formation classes?  Bible study?  These aren't just central to church life because of the content of these activities but because of how these activities help build relationships and community.  As these activities decrease, more difficult conflicts increase or, just as worse, apathy settles in and smothers congregations.

2. Pray for each other and with each other...  especially if you're in conflict.  What is your community being called to do?  What is your church's vocation?  Prayer is weird and beautiful and I really don't understand it and I know that doing it makes a difference.  If you're courageous, specifically ask those you disagree with to pray for you.  Which reminds me...

3. Be courageous.  Yep.  Every conflict, every single one, requires courage.  Every conflict, every single one, is just as much about what people aren't saying as what they are saying.  Folks hold back about what something means to them or what their stake in a decision is.  Sometimes, the main reason people are involved in a conflict is because a person they consider to be their friend is involved and they're taking sides (see #1 and #2).  Be courageous enough to disagree with your friends and name what is true for you.  Otherwise, conflicts will just get bigger and bigger and encourage people to take sides when compromise might have been possible.

4. If money is not the issue, do not make money the issue.  This is huge.  I can understand people being hesitant to give financially to a community if the stewardship of that money is the primary concern.  There is some logic in that.  But, withholding monies or offering monies to try and manipulate the mission of a church is a betrayal of the whole community and a form of hostage taking or bribery.  The community discerns what their call is and choosing to be part of a community means that you do not always get what you want.  Belonging to a church means sharing what you can.  If you can no longer do this because you are not called to the same mission the rest of the church is called to, you need to seriously consider seeking out a new church community; graciously and kindly.  If there are folks in your church doing this, listen to them, pray with and for them and - if it becomes clear that their vocation and the vocation of the church are incompatible - except their resignation graciously and kindly.

5. Make.  A.  Decision.  In the end, we can't do everything and can't make everyone 100% happy.  Churches' tortured decision making processes are what makes many conflicts so painful.  The majority of church conflicts aren't because the church can't make a decision but because they won't.  Read #1-#4 one more time, please.  Its not difficult to find resources that might be helpful, here.  Carefully consider if some of the same resources you use in your family or work life to manage conflict might apply.

What are some other things you'd add?  I'm going to be posting this article to my blog (http://thoughtsandprayers-mike.blogspot.com/) and on our conference Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/pncucc?ref=hl).  Feel free to add your own suggestions, there.

Tuesday Prayer for 12/10/13: Mary

(This is a prayer I wrote for 12/6/11.  It was on the tail end of the Occupy moment and at there were similar uprisings occurring in Russia, at the time.)

Inspired by Isaiah 1:46-55

God of Mary the Teenager,

God of the Let-Down and Lowly,

God of the Filled-up Hungry and the emptied rich;

We have been waiting for you.

We have been longing for you.

We have been hoping for you.

Some things are not quite right.

This world of ours is off-kilter - spinning all wobbly – and it seems like some

are falling

off.

The impoverished are being flung off in to the outer darkness as others laugh at the spectacle of it all.  Children are choking on the air.  Greed is being celebrated as a Darwinian virtue.  Love is being criminalized.  We keep finding new ways to be violent.

Why should we complain, though? Where is our thankfulness?  We are here, in this safe place, right? We are here, in this safe place, right?  We are here in this safe place, right?  It is safe here.  We are fed.  It is safe here. We are safe with these fences around us, right?  They are here to keep others out, right?  They keep out the wildness.  They keep us safe, like cattle.

Much safer than a world where God is held in belly of some teenage girl with, likely, brown skin and, likely, dark hair who is, likely, poor.  Much safer than a world where God scatters the proud and deposes the powerful and calls this “mercy.”  Much safer than a world where God seems so small you need a soul like a magnifying glass to make God bigger.

Oh God, help me. I am so impatient and so tired.  Fling open the cynical squint of my eyes in the midday and, then, help my fearful eyes close in the middle of the night.

“Be not afraid,” you say… 

I am finding this difficult, I confess…

Help me look in to the eyes of that pregnant, teenaged girl and be in awe of her certainty; her assuredness; her excitement.  Help me to sing along with her like it’s a lullaby; like it's a hip-hop rhyme; like it’s a protesting, marching chant.

“FOR THE MIGHTY ONE HAS DONE GREAT THINGS FOR ME!!!!!!!”  May I yell it like one of those deep belly yells that makes my throat ache.

(For the Mighty One has done great things for me…) May I whisper it over and over again like a mantra.

And, then, maybe…  Just, maybe…

Justice will roll down like

Mary’s

breaking

water…

Amen.

Tuesday Prayer for 11/26/13: Beat

(Inspired by Isaiah 2:1-5)

We have beat the ploughshares into 

swords and

coal-carrying trains and

missile-firing drones and

pollution-belching smoke stacks and

We have beat our pruning hooks into

spears and

life-disrupting mobile this or thats and

earth-ravishing chemicals and

ever-meaningless coins and

We have beat our people into

defeated-depression and

soul-crushing submission and

life-devaluing objects and

prescription-enhanced servants and

the earth itself feels the weight of every step and

the sky itself has become weighted and

God 

mourns 

and

hope feels more and more like an advertising slogan and less like something that is

Real.

It is, though, 

"something that is real.”

Hope.

Is.

Real.

Because there is a difference between being "beat" and "beaten" and

THIS is the difference 

that makes every oligarch shudder and

every abuser worry and

and every oppressor wake

in the middle of the night

in a 

cold 

sweat.

There are arms out there strong enough to beat those swords into ploughshares.

There are feet out there strong enough to stomp those spears into pruning hooks.

There are backs strong enough to break chains and

Those people who have been beat?

They have not been beaten 

and they can beat

back.

(beat beat

beat beat

beat beat

beat beat…)

(From http://www.rootforce.org/2008/06/19/peru-turmoil-slams-copper-supplies/)

Tuesday Prayer for 11/12/13: Storm's Rage

(All photos of the Philippines, pre-Typhoon Haiyan,  by Frederica Helmiere)

Inspired by Isaiah 65:17-25

Dear God:

When storms rage,

When towns are swept away,

When children suffer,

it is hard

to believe

in

anything.

When our hearts rage,

When serenity is swept away,

When confidence suffers,

it is hard

to believe

in

anything.

How will we appreciate

this “new heaven?”

How will we appreciate

this “new earth?”

How?

When 

we haven’t

figured out how

to appreciate

this one?

Amen.

To give to the UCC Typhoon Haiyan response fund, click on this link.

Tuesday Prayer for 11/5/13: Cutting Teeth

Tuesday Prayer for 11/5/13

Inspired by Psalm 145

Dear God:

These sounds of early morning teething and reading the Psalms seem to go together.  The sounds of wailing and gnashing of, well, gums seems to match the sorrow and the pain in these songs.  My son has not had pain quite like this before.  It is not something I know but something that there are only deep memories of.  When I hear him cry, it seems like this is a flaw in our creation.  Our bodies seem to rebel against themselves to do something normal.  It is bone slowly cutting through flesh.

And billions of people have all gone through this.  And millions of other parents are thinking similar things…

Now.

I was once told that you really can’t pray the Psalms until after you turn thirty.

The pain and reality you thought might be passing you begin to realize

is permanent

and real

and cumulative.

It takes awhile to really get 

Psalm weary and

Psalm angry and

Psalm tired and

Psalm frustrated.

It takes awhile to get

Psalm desperate.

“God fulfills the desire of all who fear God;

    God also hears their cry, and saves them.

God watches over all who love God,

    but will destroy all the wicked.”

These are strange prayers and I pray them.

These are strange songs and sing them.

I do not always believe in the kind of G-d that they call for but

There are days I pretend to and

On those days,

I am comforted.

Amen

Tuesday Prayer for 10/15/13: Presence

(Inspired by Luke 18:1-8)

(From http://theresoundingdeclaration.blogspot.com/)

Dear God:

One:  What has you weary this week?

All: (Silence)

One: What would you like to give up?

All:  (Silence)

One: What are you still called to do even though you might be tired doing it?

All:  (Silence)

One: What are you called not to do, anymore?

All: (Silence)

(from http://archives.starbulletin.com/2004/12/24/news/index.html)

One:  God, help us know you are present.

Many:  Help us breath in life and renewal;

One:  Sit next to us in those moments of weariness and exhaustion;

Many:  Hold us as we seek persistence and wisdom;

One:  Celebrate with us as we find release and forgiveness. God, help us know you are present.

Many: God, help us know you are present.  Amen.

(from http://spiritualnormal.wordpress.com/)

9-24-13 Tuesday Prayer (a day late): More Than This...

Tuesday Prayer for 9/24/13: More than this...

Inspired by Jeremiah 32:13a, 6-15; Luke 16:19-31; and Seamus Heaney

One: Is this really what we have?  This land this land soaked with waste and short-sightedness?  This land paved over with parking lots and roadways?  This land that we fight and kill over?  There must be...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  Is this really what we have?  These people soaked with violence and greed?  These people used and abused by those who are addicted to power and wealth?  These people who fight and kill each other?  There must be...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  Is this really what we have?  These souls soaked with cowardice and grandiosity?  These souls broken and crushed and twisted and cold?  These souls lost and forgotten?  There must be...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  There must be...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  There must be...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  There must be more than this...  There is that water, air and decay that heals that land and makes way for the life that was sleeping; waiting; that tree that breaks through the pavement and makes it dirt again; the peace that is stronger than the green things that break through and make the cracks in the sidewalk.  There is...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  We are that people through whom flows hope and commitment; the people who rise up on a great warm wind and are set free from that which burdens us; the people who create peace and give shape to justice.  There is...
Many: ...more than this.
One:  We have these souls that, although sometimes painfully bent, cannot break; souls that are fed by courage and give birth to life; souls connected to the source of all souls and great love; souls that always - always - are closer to more beginnings than endings.  There is...
Many: ...more than this.
One: That rumble is not the end.  That rumble is not the end.  That rumble is grace and hope and love and peace and forgiveness and freedom and emerging like a belly laugh from deep within God.
 "History says, don't hope on this side of the grave.
All: But then, once in a lifetime, the longed for tidal wave of justice can rise up and hope and history rhyme."
One: This may be that time.  Right now.  This very moment.
All: (Silence)
One: Let all God's people say..
All: (loudly) Amen!

Tuesday Prayer for 9/17/13: Gravity

Inspired by 1st Timothy 2:1-7

So, this is what I say;

Let them fall.

Let them fall.

Let them fall, fail, fly and flee.

Let me push,

when need be.

Gravity has a way of

catching

up;

Of strengthening when being denied,

Of opening herself up and saying

"Come. 

Rest here.  

Come sit with the rest of us.

You have not died.

You have not died.

Yet."

Tuesday Prayer for 9-3-13: Searing

Dear God;

There are images I
can
not
get out of my head:

these cocoons
shrouded in white
in an endless line...

some are heartbreakingly small
some faces tinged blue
same faces forever afraid

these cocoons
shrouded in white
in an endless line...

again

This is what always happens when
Missiles are launched or
Food is denied or
Plague comes or
Bullets fly or
Bombs explode or
(                         or)

these cocoons
shrouded in white
in an endless line...

As these things go,
as they always seem to go,
as there is a response to the outrage
(that will create outrage)
after the missiles fly
we
see
pictures
of

these cocoons
shrouded in white
in an endless line...

We do not end it
By adding to it but...
We do not know how to end it
Or we refuse to, at least.
The arch of the fist is already in motion.
It has momentum.
It has momentum.

(The other night I had a dream or
maybe it was just a vision of
these cocoons
shrouded in white
in an endless line...
As the sun warmed them
one of them began to move
and the shroud began to rip
and I was afraid
until this child, this beautiful child,
stood up,
wiped her eyes like in the morning and
stretched her arms back like new wings
and laughed with death fracturing joy and
as she did
these cocoons
shrouded in white
in an endless line...
Shuddered.

The sky was torn open by the sound of
death shrouds
ripping and
death fracturing laughter made the earth rumble
and waken those long buried.

And we joined them, we all joined them,
and empires melted
and dictators relented
and hunger was forgotten
and the missiles turned to dust
and plague was healed
and the gas dissipated
and the guns were put in the graves of the once buried

There was laughter everywhere
There was laughter everywhere
There was laughter everywhere)

Amen.